True Enough For You

Check your thighs in the mirror, ma. I'm done.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Speak Your Truth! Save Our Bluths!

I am pretty outspoken, but I would never consider myself an activist. I would never really consider myself active, actually. And I don’t like to do too much charity work lately unless it involves getting my picture taken or a tax write off. Occasionally, I will work for food that comes after the work. (I am a sucker for a BBQ or pizza party, and if loving that is a crime, I am public enemy number one.) Sometimes an issue comes along that is so important, so profound that it cannot be ignored. Sometimes you have to speak out when it’s not the most popular thing to say. When a life is in peril, it is our responsibility as humans, citizens of the Earth, to do our duty to preserve it. That is why I call on all my friends and band together to help save the best show on television, Arrested Development. It is my Terri Schiavo; I am its Tom DeLay. And I don’t know what I will do if this bitch’s feeding tube isn’t inserted this time. I won’t go into how the show is brilliant with top notch performances, second to none-writing, jokes that are funny on three or four different levels and its tendency to reward viewers for paying attention. Any tv critic’s column can tell you that. It’s very special to me, and its death would make me a very, very sad panda. Click here, here and here to learn more.

Speaking of Tom DeLay, he was totally talking shit today on my sometimes homeboy, Justice Kennedy. Is this joker insane or what? He’s under investigation for about twenty or so violations of law and (if you’re allergic to oxymorons, read no further- and don’t try the jumbo shrimp!) Congressional ethics. You'd think boyfriend might want to keep a low profile. He thinks the fact that Kennedy researches on the internet constitutes being “outrageous.” Well then, that would make me more outrageous than Jem and the Holograms. And we all know that they were truly, truly, truly outrageous.

Erin Elmore sightings!!! My friend KC has gotten to the bottom of the fired and fabulous chanteuse’s location. Allegedly, she is moving to the Fitler Square area, causing a flurry of activity in my inbox from an entertaining email chain, describing the sightings. She even attended the BBQ (which I love, see above) of one of her new neighbors. We have so many questions for her, it will be tough to admire from afar. God, give us strength. Things just got a little bit pinker on the west side of center city Philadelphia. More info to come.

In an age where the Internets (trademark George W. Bush) are the Special Olympics, it seems that blogs are hugs. That is, eventually everyone gets one. Courtesy of assclown, this is someone’s blog dedicated to everyone’s favorite emotion, irrational hate. And here is one that features Rosie O’Donnell speaking her truth; but there’s a catch, it’s all in the form of poetry! Seriously, what will lesbians think of next?

Nicest thing said about me in a long time: Sandy the secretary on the phone with her friend, ‘Let me tell you the truth, Zachy is definitely not remedial.” Maybe a bit presumptuous, but I appreciate the sentiment.


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