True Enough For You

Check your thighs in the mirror, ma. I'm done.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Leather, Jockstraps and Bears, Oh My!

So, my friend JC, as aforementioned, is doing some sort of research paper on the Leather Community and out of the mainstream homosexual lifestyles. As part of his project, he is interviewing people from all walks of life to see what their perception of the leather community is. When he needed someone innocent and pure as the driven snow to accompany him to The Bike Stop, he obviously put in a call to me. And honestly? We've all had that kind of night out in a S&M bar, right? He sat me down with a tape recorder after the visit to the bar and told me to talk, and talk I did until that son of a bitch of a machine needed a smoking break. After I was told to shut up, JC transcribed the brilliance/stream of conscious rambling and sent it to me in a Word document. The following are some of the highlights of said transcript:

It was sort of like a roadhouse, but with a bunch of gay guys. I think the first time I was there I actually forgot that anybody there was gay, it just seemed like a lot of really big guys in leather. And I am not a big guy and I didn’t wear leather, so I sort of stuck out like a sore thumb.

Also, we were just there and they played ‘Opposites Attract’ by Paula Abdul and that kind of blew my mind.

Especially tonight if we could of have been at any bar and it really wouldn’t have made too much of a difference, except for the fact that some people were walking around in jockstraps. And um…that really didn’t make me uncomfortable at all. I thought that it might, I was kind of hoping that it would a little bit. But it didn’t, I don’t think that um…I think it’s interesting that the people wearing the jockstraps don’t necessarily have the athletic bodies that usually accompany a jockstrap, but I guess that not everybody is looking for that type of athletic body.

I think that one interesting…interesting thing about the leather community could be that…it’s almost like they’re trying to hold on to their last vestiges of masculinity…because they um…because of course with sexuality there’s all sorts of stereotypes of femininity and…I think that…this is, this could be a way that people hold onto being a man? By being extra manly and…wait, I guess it’s not exactly extra manly at the end of the night, but…[laughs]

I think when…when I was told that he was…um…when I was told that he had the job that he had [college professor], it didn’t really surprise me that much because he seemed to…I could imagine him doing that…when I wasn’t being slapped in the face by his balls that were just hanging out of his jockstrap. But um…I couldn’t really see many other people in there in white collar professions. And that’s probably unfair of me to say, but I will say it anyway, because that was my impression and that is what I am being asked to do.

And um…we saw Miss World Leather 1994, and she was not as thin as Miss Universe…certainly. [laughs] We…I guess I met another guy who was Mr. Leather Man something or other. Was that Jim that I met? He was not – he could have been though I mean – he seemed like he’d be really great in the pageants.

Downstairs is a dungeon-like atmosphere. I wasn’t there tonight, but I’ve been there before. And I think the dungeon aspect of it is really what I was thinking that it was going to be like the whole time. I guess the basement is where they…[laughs]…where the hide all their really…um [laughs]…prevalent stereotypes.

It’s a lot dirtier downstairs – like I wouldn’t want to go there with bare feet. Not that I go into bars with bare feet – I’m not Brittney Spears.

They had some sort of apparatus on the wall that I’m sure is used for chaining people onto it and spanking them – it looked pretty medieval. I can’t vouch for what it was because I haven’t seen it in a couple years and I don’t even know that it’s still there. But it looked like a type of device that was used to implement pain for sexual pleasure. Which again I don’t really get, but I’m not judging!

The bar was hotter than I thought it would be, for somewhere that encourages you to wear so much leather. Actually people were just wearing jockstraps tonight so maybe that’s why. But that’s an interesting dichotomy: it’s either a lot of heavy leather or practically nothing at all. [sotto voce to himself] That’s pretty deep.

Me: And it seems like…this particular niche has more of a family feel to it…um…then again it could be because when I go to other gay bars it does feel like it’s a bit competitive and you have to be pretty and witty and…[laughs] smart? Hmmm?

Interviewer: Pretty, witty, and bright.
Me: Bright. Sorry. You’re gayer than I am for that. [laughter]

Stay tuned for next time when JC makes me come with him to buy hookers, meth and blow all for the sake of an anthropological experiment- to really get the answers to his academic questions.


  • At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Couldn't resist commenting to your posting about your travels in and commentary about the Bike Stop. My partner and I usually go there because it has a lot less attitude that many of the other gay bars in the area. It is unfortunate that your tour did not lead to the sports bar on the 2nd floor, which is where we tend to hang out on those rare Saturday nights that we go out. As far as not seeing "professionals" there, you would be surprised what some of those leather-clad people do for a living. One occassional patron happens to be a respected attorney from a nearby jurisdiction. I have seen bankers, mortgage brokers, teachers, and a few lawyers. In the words of the Shadow, "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"


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