Sexy New Year, Sexy New Look, Sexy New Resolve

Hi. Happy New Year. If you're observant, you'll see that this blog has a brand new look. It's light blue and boxy to match my new aura. I have also erased all my links, so they will (hopefully) be back in a jiffy.

I hope that you'll stick around and read me altough I will probably disappear for a few months again in the future. Whatever, I was in the jungles doing service work. You know, giving vaccines and encourages the savages to put down those condoms. What were YOU doing?

This year, like no other before it, will be the year of the Zach. Specifically, me. I some other Zach's, but I don't care to share this new year with them. To stop being greedy and self-absorbed is decidedly NOT one of my resolutions.

What are my resoultions, you ask? Here are a few:

1. Finally learn to smoke. I will start with something seemingly innocuous, but quite obnoxious (Capris, Marlboro 100's) and work my way up to crack by the time my birthday rolls around in November.
2. Start taking more loved ones for granted. It turns out that I have some pretty amazing friends and family members. It's about time I started using more concrete data to prioritize. This year, whoever buys me the most is my favorite.
3. Use the gym exclusively for social purposes. I won't have a naturally slim figure forever, so maybe I should spend my waning time in these salad days by making fun of those who have to work hard for it. And if I MUST go to the gym to exercise(3 blocks away), you can be sure I will be taking a cab to get there.
4. Be pretentious! This is the year I will make new friends by constantly correcting others' grammar and making them feel bad for their individual tastes in entertainment media. Yes. This is the year when I will initiate this plan. Also, wouldn't it be just smashing to start using extra letters when I spell things like the British or the Canadians? If it's good enough for the kids at DeGrassi, it's good enough for you and me. It's one of my favourite programmes. (See?!)
5. Befriend random people on friendster. I mean, some people just need the help. And it certainly wouldn't hurt some people to be seen with me. You know who you are.
6. Continue to languish at temp job while conjuring up delusions of grandeur, but doing so in a less impoverished way than a couple months ago. Do so with more, overt self-loathing but less vim and/or vigor. Delicate balance.
7. Wear more red. Yes, I know I am a winter, but don't you think red makes me seem more vibrant sometimes?
8. Hug myself every morning. Yes, euphemism.
9. Eat more food at other people's houses. Making myself a new, better person will probably make me super hungry. You've been warned.
10. Test out some new and interesting facial hair patterns.


Anyway, I hope to be posting more and worming my way back into your lives, readers. You can't even take a virtual Valtrex to suppress this love.