True Enough For You

Check your thighs in the mirror, ma. I'm done.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Requiem For A Coffee Shop And An Easy Commute


Sometimes it pays to make out with people beyond the immediate benefits one might incur. For example, a few months ago (check the April archives for Skippy) I made out with a traveler passing through Philadelphia, and I didn’t think we would really talk much again. This is mostly because he had a boyfriend of 9 years. He was in some sort of open relationship, for all of you who are judging me right now. For Shame!

Anyway, it turns out his boyfriend is the drummer of a really cool band, The New Amsterdams. The lead singer of the New Ams is Matthew Pryor, formerly of The Get Up Kids. They used to be very big for the slacker college set. Lots of young one still follow him around maniacally, asking for autographs and to have his babies (females and gays only). Skippy got in touch with me and said that I could be a VIP guest for the concert when they played at Philadelphia’s Northstar Bar.

I was allowed to hang out backstage with the boys, drink beer with them and see their concert for free. Their set was amazing. They use an upright bass, which is pretty rad. Everyone in the band is very cute, and I got to hear great stories from the chaps in their basement dressing room. And Skippy’s drummer boyfriend Bill is basically the nicest person ever. I got to hang out with him and drink beer with him for an hour before the concert. He was much more composed and accommodating than I would have been with someone who made out with my boyfriend a while ago.

Thus, I can’t encourage you enough to check out the New Amsterdams and their upcoming children’s album, The Terrible Twos. Thanks New Ams!

Briefly: Fuck Septa! Usually I am all about the underdog. In sports, I root for the underdog unless I have a vested interest in the favorite. However, this is ridiculous. There are many reasons why I hate Septa right now:

1. You have made Philadelphia impossible to travel throughout, even for those not directly affected by your strike.
2. Policemen are on every corner as if the city were under siege. They blow their whistles a lot, and it makes my ears hurt.
3. You are forcing people to drive that should have no business ever being behind the wheel of any vehicle. It’s like a normal day in Massachusetts right here in Philadelphia.
4. Most workers have to contribute a small amount of their paycheck to their health insurance fund. Bus drivers should be doing the same thing.
5. I hate hearing about how my friends have to walk everywhere.
6. I think I broke my toe, and what if I needed to take a train somewhere?!

Segue: I think I broke my toe by stubbing it. It’s purple right now. And falling off my foot. Does anyone know how to fix a broken foot without having to see a doctor?

It’s the end of an era in Philadelphia for gay gawkers and drinkers of bad, expensive coffee in town. Millennium Coffee has closed down, creating a sudden dearth in the amount of places to watch men leave 12 Street Gym and make them feel self-conscious. Known for years as a popular meeting place for the gays and gay-friendly, the café served its last mochachino Sunday night, all for lack of profits. Turns out there was more sitting and staring than actual coffee drinking. So, gays must travel elsewhere to drink their lattes and chais to the tune of tribal beats. My condolences for the other local coffeeshops that will have to compensate and reluctantly welcome the spillover gays in search of caffeine. RIP Millennium, we hardly knew ye. I will always remember walking past you, hoping not to be groped by the perverts that sat in front of you. Those were the days.

Finally, this just in. Samuel Alito says abortions will remain legal, so long as they are performed with NRA-approved automatic weapons. Sodomy, however, will be strictly relegated to back alleys and porn shops.

C’est la vie.

3 Comments:

  • At 1:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Thus, I can’t encourage you enough..."

    ...to make out with band members' boyfriends?

     
  • At 1:26 PM, Anonymous Jewboy said…

    The SEPTA bastards signed their deal today. if i had to hear one more philly asshole complaining about walking 4 blocks, i was going to swallow a shotgun blast.

     
  • At 11:57 AM, Anonymous moi said…

    What? No pig's blood as revenge for macking someone else's man? tsk, the story isn't very fun.

     

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