Gay Sex: Don't Be Trippin' Y'all

Before I regale you, the reader, with tales from the wild Memorial Day weekend (equal parts playing drinkface and remembering our fallen heroes, of course), I wanted to post something about a subject near and dear to my loins: gay sex.

I can’t tell what I think of the brochure found in this here link [click me]. It’s either an effective teaching tool for young gay kids who are just learning the manifold purposes their boners serve or the scariest/perkiest sexual education guide I have ever seen. It’s both awesome and horrifying. It’s also a bit patronizing. Examples?

There's the cartoon sex ed instructor. And all of the sex acts described end with "-in'" as in "fuckin'," suckin'" and "jerkin' off," the latter touted is being "a hot and safe way to have fun." Oh, and the authors used enough exclamation points throughout (The "Handy-Dandy Condom Guide" exhorts instruction in "Usin' 'em!") to choke the captain of the cheerleading squad. Most offensive for me, causing me to gag for the third time this morning (damn you morning sickness!) would have to be a caution against getting "dookie on your noodle."

It’s a great idea to educate children about sex, but maybe the target audience for this brochure shouldn’t be ten year olds and/or Marky Mark circa 1993. Regardless, it’s high comedy. Learn it, live it, love it and keep your noodle dookie-free.