I Believe in Miracles: A Lesson in Dry Lips and Redemption
This morning as I was completing my moisturizing and exfoliating regime, I shocked to discover that I had run clear out of Chapstick. If there is one thing that this boy will not tolerate, it’s dry lips. Now normally this kind of revelation would send me reeling back into bed where I would remain covered and in the fetal position, peeking my head out periodically only to catch glimpses of the brave women on Starting Over. I relate. To make matters worse, I knew that I would be the only person in my office today, since Miss Sandy was fulfilling her civil duty as a potential juror. As she put it, “Girlfriend’s got some jury duty.” These were ominous portends that indicated a bad week lay ahead.
Somehow I mustered the strength to pour myself into a khakis and sport coat ensemble and march off to work in the 150 degree heat, dry lips and all.
For lunch I went to Club Wa to grab a quick sandwich and get some cottage cheese and peaches. I had been craving Wawa Iced Tea all day. When I got there, I was saddened to see that there was no Wawa Iced Tea! Of course, by "saddened" I mean in a homicidal rage. All my nightmares were coming to fruition in one day! Needless to say, after I grabbed a Snapple Iced tea to go with the rest of my lunch, I flipped out Ninja-style, beat up everyone in the room and burned the Wawa down, leaving a smoky pile of ashes where the once convenient mart once stood. I walked back to my office, lunch in hand, a bit hungrier but no less frustrated.
I sat down to eat lunch, hoping that each bite would give me a bit more strength to persevere through the day. I was alone, defeated. I ripped the perforated slit down the side of my Snapple bottle’s safety seal and twisted the cap off, being met with the delightful pop of a bottle well kept. I readied myself to read the underside of the cap. Surely, the factoid therein would cheer me up. At the very least, it would be a nugget of information that I could cast into conversation at a wholly inappropriate time. But wait, what was this? It seems that instead of getting a factoid (which would have been plenty), it turns out I won a Snapple-sanctioned prize. And what was it?
Snapple Lip Balm. Who knew!
I guess everything really does happen for a reason.
It was a nice weekend of drinking, dancing and bike racing. Actually, I just watched the bike race, but it was fun. I got to see Cecily Tynan on a motorcycle!
Last night I saw a great movie (Crash), and had some quality drinking and walking time with a wonderful guy who finds himself conspicuously inconspicuous in many of my blog entries. So there.
All in all, a nice weekend. The next time I write something, I hope my lips will be in much better shape and possibly iced tea flavored.