True Enough For You

Check your thighs in the mirror, ma. I'm done.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Monday Bloody Monday


The other judge with whom we share our chambers got a phone call this morning from a woman who claimed she couldn’t make it to jury duty because she had her period. In her overshare of a message (which we heard on speaker phone) she said that she had a “killer headache” and was “bleeding all over the place.” I put down my bright red, berry V8 Splash and implored the gods above to allow me to start my Monday over.

Of course, Sandy had something to say about it: “Shit, this woman and her lame-ass, weak-ass excuses. I used to work at a place with all women. Shit, my boss was a lesbian, and that excuse was never allowed. What about poor Zach? Is he going to call up and say, ‘Oh, my dick hurts so bad today. It’s so damn swollen, I can’t be on jury duty.’ That bitch need help because she ain’t deep!”

I couldn’t even begin to explain what any of that meant even if I felt fully awake, never mind first thing on a Monday morning. But I do know one thing: you can’t fight logic.

Touché, Sandy. Touché.

6 Comments:

  • At 2:14 PM, Blogger xxx said…

    my future condolonces to you on the day when you may call out with dick problems.

     
  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger ZRW said…

    How do you think I got the day off for your wedding? Preemptive swollen dick complaints, of course!

     
  • At 2:57 PM, Blogger JD said…

    I agree with the fudge-packer on this one. I hope that you don't have to ever all out sick with wizzle problems. Most things in this world, no matter how bad, are better than waking up with wizzle problems. It's scarier when you wake up with problems with the boys, I'll tell you what...

    -Quadzilla

     
  • At 3:38 PM, Blogger somegirl said…

    since when did stonehenge become a symbol of menstruation?

     
  • At 4:56 PM, Blogger xxx said…

    http://www.tamponart.com/

     
  • At 5:01 PM, Blogger somegirl said…

    oh.

    my.

    god.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home