True Enough For You

Check your thighs in the mirror, ma. I'm done.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

America's Next Top Teleconference- Part II

Continued from previous post.

Susan, whose name, unlike Whitney, actually was Susan held back her own laughter as she asked since the latest winner Nicole was so "high fashion," what is the look they are going for this, cycle?

What they said: Jay went off about how you have to be commercial, technical, a great spokesperson or Eva Pigford. Nigel broke it down so we could all understand and said it all boiled down to being and/or having "the face, the walk, the talk. Being an inspiration. A muse in the industry." Ken Mok, having only produced and never watched the show hilariously added, "They have to do everything, and be articulate. Basically, they need to be the next Tyra and why Tyra is a supermodel."

What they meant: She can't be blonde or able to read the fine print in contracts. And in the spirit of being the next walking, talking Tyra, this season there will be a rib-eating contest.

What I said: You can kind of tell at this point that Jay and Nigel think this whole thing is hilarious. Jay begins every sentence with, "You know, the interesting thing about that question is..." But then he never gets to the interesting part. Still, he's being really funny and a good sport about everything. Nigel is still hot as a baker.

Rich, the first gay of the evening, wants to know if Seasons 2-5 of Top Model will be released on DVD.

What they said: Ken Mok laid down the smack here and basically said that Season, er, Cycle One did sell well, so they sold all the rights to the show, his older 3 kids and his soul to Viacom so that there could be amazing, though sporadic marathons of Top Model on VH1. Jay added, and he said that, like NO ONE knows about this, but whenever he or Tyra go to a store to buy a dvd or 7, they bring a sharpie and sign random copies of their own dvds. He says this with the same guilty grin that I imagine an Amish man would have if he tried on a pair of pants with a zipper.

What they meant: Seriously, Viacom took my older 3 kids. Jay also was thisclose to admitting that also signs copies of the Mary Tyler Moore Show dvds because "he's going to make it after all." Oh, and buy Cycle One dvds, please!!!

What I said: Tonight I am going to Borders and signing everything I can with a sharpie "I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you! XOXO Ty-ty baby."

The sum total of my notes here say, verbatim, "bitch is confused." I think we'll just leave it at that, since I really have no idea what else happened. Whatever, y'all. I am admittedly not Christiane Ammanpour.

Nina is clearly stoned, but still fiesty enough to claim that SHE is Canada's biggest ANTM fan. Nigel and Jay both wag their heads back and forth at the neck to indicate an implicit "Oh no you di-in't!" But she did. What the hell are people fighting about this?! Her question? Why do girls complain that they never have their best shots shown.

What they said: Nigel, oozing sex, is incredulous! How they hell would these girls we drag in off the street have any idea what a good shot looks like. Jay says he always has the girls' best interest in mind, but really the girls have no clue what they are doing or talking about. Anyone watching says, Duh.

What they meant: No really, these girls are pretty dumb. And whiny. And they actually say that they hate the whiny ones. Once again, duh.

What I said: This moment is great because Nigel goes off and starts to impersonate the girls. He's very angry, smoldering even. Jay claims that he always says, "If it feels awkward, it looks good. If it feels good, it looks bad." You may remember that quote from Boogie Nights.


  • At 5:03 PM, Blogger little spanish eddie said…

    what the hell is going on here?

  • At 1:28 PM, Blogger chris eckenrode said…

    enjoy your blog and thought you might be interested in this one...if you didn't already know



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